plants

hi guys :)

happy new semester!

I miss you all! I miss boba nights and movie nights. and hanging out at dor’s. and milk tea.

Dor, I wish I could come with Jen & Steph when they visit next weekend! however, that’s the weekend I’m flying up to visit Geo, so I won’t be able to gooo :(. dangit. really wish I could though. 

Kim, dangit I missed out hanging out with you too! stupid article. anyways good luck on the new semester!! do well, work hard, enjoy learning & creating your art :)

Shannon, I love the layers! I miss you so much too. your waitressing job sounds like a tough challenge, but I know you can do it! 

Jen, I don’t know how you get up every morning at 5am, it’s crazy. I love living with you and talking with you about our lives and about our future plans after college! 

dang this semester is so much busier. I’m actually on staff at the Clause now, so I constantly have an article to be working on or someone to interview, etc. :/ but I do enjoy it. but sometimes it sucks a little bit :P

I’ll need to turn in my application for the Washington D.C. Journalism study abroad program soon. I really hope I get in for next Fall; if I do, I also just realized recently that I’ll be in D.C. for the presidential election!! for my first time voting too! WAY cool.

Tagged: annie

just in response to jen,

seriously ive had one very very emotional past two weeks. can’t handle anymore feels.

//

jen! i NEED you next weekend. can’t wait. namely because i wanna catch up & we can talk about boy problems together over fud yay! 

annie~ i miss you especially since i saw so much of you over break i hope all is well, love <3 

kim. i know youre probably hella busy but i wanna hear an update from you since you got back to school :)! survive! exceed! 

shannon; wow im so proud of you for taking on so much work! youre awesome and its tiring but i know you’ll pull through ;) 

d

i know i shouldn’t base my value of myself in the opinions of other people, but i’m tired of not feeling worth it to people…okay, namely boys.

____

shannon: love your hair! it looks so good. and you’ll be fine with all your jobs! i know you will. (: sometimes time flies when you’re on the job. and just think of how you can provide for yourself/others. i think it makes it worth it!

dor: see you next weekend! i’m excited. i’ve missed you. ready for food and shopping and new experiences!

kim: still wish i was curled up on your bed staring at your nail polish collection. hope school is going well. glad your profs all love you!

annie: i see you everyday. :p but i know you have lots of work to do all the time so just know i’m rooting for you, you journalist. (:

I miss every single one of you so much!

i know this is like the umpteenth time i’ve said it, but joseph and i aren’t together anymore. i finally grew some balls to end it instead of going on “break” and falling back into routine. i guess i drew the line at how he said he shouldn’t have to tell me he loves me and should treat each time he says it as “rollover minutes.” (he really said that, and i really almost ragequit.) i don’t want to be THAT kind of girlfriend, but i wanted him to delete his exes on fb because 1) he offered to and 2) their boobs are literally all over his feed. when he saw i was actually serious, he got super defensive about it and when i realized i shouldn’t be trying so hard to convince him, that was a huge red flag. it also got worse because he would keep saying how he doesn’t have money for going out to eat/gas to drive me places but then the next thing i knew he was out eating with his friends or buying himself an expensive camera lens/bike part. he also expressed so much resentment for being with me and it was clear i was a burden and obligation to him. so i ended it. it feels kinda good, but at the same time, it feels bad. which is normal, right?

anyway, i think it’s a good time because now i can start the next semester with a brand new schedule and create a new routine for myself independently. there’s a shitton of things i’m going to miss but i can’t bargain my happiness for that. i just want to be indispensable to someone and to be enough for him to love me with all he’s got.

this is probably the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do.

joseph is coming to norcal after all. we’re okay now & we’re gonna see how being in person is! i dink it’s very brave of him seeing as he’s at the mercy of all my friends hohoho.

i’m flying in aug 25th and joseph comes in aug 26th at night, so if we have any exceptionally girly things to do, let’s do it those days! otherwise he’ll need to be babysat. lol.

so i put together a ragtag schedule to live my summer in a week; tell me what you think and if you’d want to come hehe. (:

sat27: beach/mystery spot
mon29: great america
tue30: monterey bay aquarium
wed31: winchester mansion/santana row
thu1: sanfran/berkeley

lol that is a lot of places i want to hit ):